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November 23, 2010

Getting Over The Slump

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“God, I’m bored.”
“You look bored.”
“I AM bored.”

It’s been a strange few weeks for me, folks.  For reasons that eluded me at first, I have been quite down on myself and not dancing about like the productive photo-monkey that I’ve been in the past nine months or so.  Self-confidence plummeted, depression over money and personal issues crept up and when I get home from the office, I seem more satisfied with getting in my pajamas and watching a movie or reading a book.

Normally in moments like these I tend to stew quite a bit and there’s a lot of confusion as to what the actual source of my depression is, where a new problem slowly reveal itself when I’m getting over another one.  But this time, thankfully, the psychiatrist in my head showed up with an evaluation that he finished up after observing me for a few weeks.  The things that have been on my mind have been:

1. Artistic stagnation Just feeling like I’m in a rut with my work and am feeling, like most artistic folks I know, that at any moment someone is going to point at me and go “Hey, wait a minute!  You’re a HACK!”.

2. No steady pay For freelance work that’s a mix of  me not making enough calls and (in a small way) it being the season where nobody wants anything at the moment. Retail/Office work however…well, it’s not for lack of trying. No one just wants to hire me, it seems.  But yes.  I NEED MONEY.

3. The season I love Autumn, but right now it’s like a less soggy February out there, only more cold.  And that’s fucking depressing.

4. Being single Aside from the last week or so, this hasn’t pressed on my mind so much. But where a good portion of my friends are in committed relationships, it’s not too hard to feel kind of left out.

5. Body issues Have hit a bit of a plateau with my weight loss and while I have lost a HELL of a lot in the past year and a half (60lbs) I’m still not happy with the way I’m looking.

I’m glad that this revelation came up.  Now that I know what to do, I can work out a plan to nip these problems in the bud as best I can.  And for the past week or so I have been planning.  Oh yes.

1. Experiment with the camera.  This is an easy way to get over the feelings of stagnation.  Give myself some challenges. One of these challenges will be self portraits, which should also help deal with the body issue problem as well. Two birds one stone!

2. Make phone calls and apply for jobs. Network, network, network.  I must do more of that and I’m kicking myself for stopping it for so long. No more. Also, I will force feed businesses my resume. Then give them a copy to look over. Already this has given me a gig in Ottawa so it WORKS.

3. Curse God for bringing forth this weather. Well, it doesn’t have to be God, since we don’t know for sure, so anything works. Science, Batman, Warren Ellis, dude with a weather machine, whatever works. Will it help? No. But I’ve been looking for a reason to curse loudly at the sky.

4. Stop looking for someone. I always have to tell myself this. Online sites have always proven as useful as nipples on a ceiling and in-person stuff works, but I like making friends first. I will woo someone, of this I am sure. But I can’t do it with a one paragraph summary of myself. A person needs to get to know me and I them. So until I have a moment with someone that involves me dancing in the rain or something, the search is off.

So that’s it!  I have a plan, oh yes I do, and I’m sticking to it.  Slowly but surely I’ll be picking away at this crap until I’m feeling much more centered both artistically and personally. Although the two things are connected, so. Um. Yes.

 

October 27, 2010

New York City (Part 2)

Posted by Robin under People I Know, Personal, photography, Travel | Tags: , , , , |
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…and here we are about a week later and I STILL haven’t fully recovered.  Sleep hasn’t been coming that easy to me and I pretty much hit the ground running in the office, so I’ve been in that “when I’m not working I’m too tired to do anything” phase.  But damn it, it’s time that I wrote this.

So what happened next?  Well, the next big even that hit was that I went to see Patrick Stewart and T.R. Knight perform on Broadway in their limited run play A Life In The Theatre.  Seeing Patrick Stewart live was a very powerful thing for me, as I’ve loved him since first seeing him in I, Claudius.  And frankly, seeing him in his underwear cursing like mad kind of, er, yes.

I contacted Katelan Foisy a couple of weeks before I went down in the hopes of meeting her for coffee.  I met her through Warren Ellis’ Whitechapel Forum as well as my photographer friend Veronika von Volkova.  Since first coming across her modeling and later her writing and art, I’ve always admired Katelan greatly.  And because she’s such a big and active presence in the art world, well, it wasn’t hard for me to feel a little intimidated at the thought of meeting her.  Certainly asking for a photoshoot wasn’t an option, as I felt I was nowhere near confident enough in my work to do her justice.

But damn, any nervousness I had about meeting her went away when we actually started talking.  Katelan is a very cheery, confident woman whose mere presence just somehow brightens your own mood up.  An hour of coffee turned in to about three hours or so of coffee, cupcakes, being attacked by pigeons and walking around the city, ending at Union Square, where I was meeting a friend for a snack.  And the day left me feeling especially good when Katelan had suggested we do a quick photoshoot the next day.

That night, I went to a dinner party at my host’s place and found I was in quite amazing company.  Talking about everything from Jim Henson’s life to the civil war to cheese.  It was a wonderful night.

Katelan and I  met up at around noon the next day and headed down to the beautiful neighbourhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  Later in the day Katelan had to pose as Frida Kahlo as part of Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, so for this shoot Katelan had dressed up in advance, leaving any costume changes to be made when she went to pose.  I’ll say on record that the mantilla was gorgeous.

Williamsburg is a really beautiful area.  Old buildings and beautiful street art.  A look in to what New York used to be like. A welcome image for us, two gals who felt that we arrived in New York in the wrong era and wanted less Starbucks and more Warriors in our cities. New York especially.

We wandered around the streets, taking pictures in locations that caught our eye. Sipping coffee and talking in between.

I really like this shot.  The colours sticking out over the not-quite-grey and gritty backdrop.  The rose growing from between the cracks of a crumbled street.  The bit of brightness sticking out in an otherwise grey day.  At least, that’s what I get from it.

 

When I took this shot the both of us laughed our asses off and made jokes about Frida Kahlo advertising New York Muffin’s coffee in Brooklyn.  But damn, it’s such a beautiful shot.  Elegance in a decaying city.  Almost like someone from the past growing accustomed to their life in modern days. Hm.

I’m very glad I got to meet Katelan and work with her for this quick photo shoot.  I learned a lot from her and will bring some of the lessons in to both my work and my personal life.  I’m already looking forward to my next time in the city when, hopefully, we’ll be able to plan a another shoot.

And that night, my final one in the city, consisted of a lot of walking. A HELL of a lot of walking.  No destination in particular, just…saying goodbye to the city that treated me rather well in the nine days I was there.  Eventually, my legs gave way and I had to duck in to see a movie to recover.  After the movie, of course, I walked around for another three hours.  It was glorious.

The next day was spent packing, eating WONDERFUL pizza with my host Mike and his roommate Lara and eventually going through the maze of the Port Authority.  I arrived at my terminal a bit too early, so I had one final beer, a stout-pumkin ale blend and the last good one I’ll have before going back to the piss that the LCBO chugs out.

After waiting for two hours the bus pulled in, destination shouted and people started shuffling towards the vehicle.  Before I gave my bags to be put away I was treated to the image of a drunk sleeping on the floor of the terminal, bottle in hand.  Security guards stepping over him as they walk past.

So long, New York.

 

October 20, 2010

New York City (Part 1)

Posted by Robin under People I Know, Personal, photography, Travel
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Wow.  What a time.  I hardly know where to begin.  I suppose I’ll do a brief thing on NYCC and then move on to the more important stuff.  Sound good?  Good.

I didn’t have a good time at NYCC.

It was too overcrowded.  I think there was an estimation of about 100,000 people there and being inside, especially in the Show Room, I believed it.  To some hardened convention-going vetrans this was probably a walk in the park, but for someone like me, who hasn’t been to anything outside of the Toronto Fan Expo (a rather small con in comparison) and who has an INTENSE phobia of crowds, it wasn’t for me.  As polite as I usually am, I resorted to pushing and swearing at people who elbowed me in the chest, stopped suddenly in front of me and were just TOO DAMN SLOW. I also didn’t feel like I was getting much of a deal with the comics, which I’ve always felt was kind of important at conventions.  Other than the people publishing the Judge Dredd Complete Case Files books offering up the US version of book 1 for a mere $10 (and really, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.  SO worth it), I didn’t see any deals that I couldn’t get on any given week at my local comic shop.

HOWEVER. The costumes at the convention were some of the best I’ve ever seen and the most gratifying moment came when I went to the Avatar Press booth where, aside from meeting the wonderful people there, I met the Whitechapel crew, Steevo, John Skylar and Arryn Fox.  We went for drinks at the Pony Bar, a place I’ll definitely consider going to again, and got absolutely stinking drunk on fancy beers and a shot o’ whiskey.

Now then.  New York.

New York is a city suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder which, as odd as it sounds, is one of the aspects of it I find endearing.  In brooklyn I can walk for 20 minutes on the same street and pass by five different districts that are completely different from one another.  Cut that time in half for Manhattan.  You can ACTUALLY SEE the gradual shift in architecture, cleanliness, busyness…and it’s an amazing experience to go through it.

The first person I met with was Pierre Lamoureux.  I owe much to Pierre and his brother Francois, who are the masters of FogoLabs, a company that has won awards for their amazing DVD productions of live concerts.  It was Pierre who gave me my first photography job when I was still wondering what I could do with my camera.  It was a no pressure job, more of a “let’s see what you can do” kind of thing and well, I must have done good, since my pictures were used all over the DVD menu for the concert.  It was also him that gave me the videography/editing gig for the Trevor Boris DVD special features.

Needless to say, I learned a lot in our conversation.  About New York, about photography and about how I should proceed with things.  I told Pierre my somewhat longterm plan and he agreed that my steps seems like the best directions and offered to put me in touch with a couple of photographers.  One of which lives in Toronto.

Next up was Caroline, a friend through Warren Ellis’ Whitechapel forum and boy, did we have a time.  We made gluten-free Darth Vader cookies.

Which we of course devoured.

That night, my gracious host Mike Millan took me out to Buskhwick, Brooklyn to a seedy little comic book themed bar called Gotham City Lounge.  It was there that I met Ross and Ari, Mike’s friends who were a really swell, geeky bunch.  And the kicker of the night…the special the bar is known for.  $3 for a shot of whiskey and a Pabst Blue Ribbon.  For the sake of my pride, I won’t say what happened for the rest of the night, but will give the clue that I got a t-shirt (wonderfully purchased by Mike) that describes the rest of the evening…eerily well.

Right.  That’s all for part one.  Tomorrow: Pizza, cupcakes, photos and Katelan Foisy.  STAY TUNED.

 

August 23, 2010

Goodbye Bread & Dairy

Posted by Robin under Personal | Tags: , , , |
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(this is cross-posted on to my food-related blog The Hungry Bitch. For more updates on this topic go there)

So long, dairy! So long, bread! I’m taking you off the menu.  It’s been great and really, I think you’re wonderful.  But I’m thinking that we’re at a point in each other’s lives where we have to find new things.

Well, for a month anyways.

So yeah, as part of an experiment, I’ll be going off of bread and dairy products for a month.  In the meantime I’ll be recording the results as well as the progress and failures I’ll have throughout.  There are a few reasons why I want to do this, the primary one being “just to see if I can do it”.  Another reason is that I’ve felt inspired by the increasing amount of vegan friends I have and their creativity with recipes that don’t involve anything from our friend the moo-cow.  The list goes on, one including freeing myself from addictions that got some snickers from my vegan friend Cheryl, but the big thing is just to see if I can do it.

At first it seemed to me that getting rid of dairy would be the easy part and bread would be harder.  After all, I don’t really eat that much bread at home, I’ve been drinking soy milk for two years and have a slight intolerance towards certain cheeses.  But for the two weeks leading up to the launch of this experiment, I realized just how much of the two I consume on a regular basis and it suddenly became much more of a daunting task.  It’s amazing how much of a product you can eat without realizing it.

Right now, Day 1, I’m just getting used to the small changes. Grapefruit for breakfast instead of a bowl of cereal and toast, I’m thinking a chickpea vegan curry from Fresh might be on the menu for lunch AND dinner (Such huge portions they serve) and some Sweet Chili Triscuits and hazelnuts as a snack. A bit of a change since I normally have a burger, hot dog, sub, pizza or any other kind of meal featuring bread and cheese for lunch and bread with honey as a snack.

WHAT I EXPECT TO GET OUT OF THIS
Hahahaha what?

The most I’d expect to get out of this is some health-related results that I can write up, print off and throw on J. Jonah Jameson’s desk with a defiant smirk because HE FUCKING DOUBTED ME.

Or you know, maybe just some results. Good or bad.  That would be nice.

CHALLENGES
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am going to fall off the wagon on this a couple of times, either accidentally or intentionally.  Going off something cold turkey is something I’ve failed at in the past and I recognize that this is going to be a bit of a transition and I will at some point, give in to the sexy allure of a double-cheese pizza or the seductive wink of a cupcake with cream cheese frosting.  But I’m going to try my best not to succumb to these temptations and will also try not to be discouraged if I do.

WHAT YOU SHOULD EXPECT FROM ME
Because you just have to fucking expect something of me, don’t you?

At the very least you should expect a weekly update.  Either it will be accounts of going through withdrawal or more likely recording the alternatives to bread & dairy I’ll be having as well as a recipe or two.  Perhaps some update on general well-being as well.  We’ll see where it goes.

So yeah!  Here we go…Wish me luck!

 

June 22, 2010

A Hell Of A Town Part 1

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For those that follow me on twitter (yes, I use one), you’d know that I was in New York City last week from the 16th to the 2oth.  It was my fourth trip to the big apple, but the first one where I just wandered on my own (Either I was with my folks or was too busy to actually explore anywhere beyond my favorite spots).  This was also the first time I had any friends in the city, which makes the experience a bit better, having a local insider to be your host in a city that has a hell of a lot of depth.

We stayed at a friend’s apartment, an amazing place on 41st and 2nd that is a flight of stairs away from the UN.  There were a few protests there, obviously, but it was really nice.  We managed to find a parking space that we could park in for the entire time we were there free of charge.  The doorman of the apartment and other local friends have put us in the history books and the singer friends have written beautiful melodies of our discovery since that’s such a rare thing to happen.  I spent most of my time in the village and a day in Brooklyn, where I toured the Brooklyn Brewery, drank lots and got introduced to Magic Hat #9.  But that’s coming up later.

New York always brings forth awesome feelings for me.  The romantic in me goes to the opening to Woody Allen’s Manhattan whenever I think back on the city, and for the most part, it’s true to form.  Manhattan is a gigantic, intimidating place where everything is happening at once.  And no matter how many times you’ve been there, it’s easy to feel like one of the many new tourists stopping every two seconds to ask directions or take a photo.  You get to Manhattan and you feel like a chump for walking so slowly in this bustling city.  At least, you do on Broadway and by Central Park and Times Square and the…I’ll stop.  Basically in the busy areas it’s wasy to feel like you should be doing something to contribute to the chaos.  Or at the very least be one of the many charming personalities that give that city its edge.

If you ever want to look at Manhattan in a new way, walk around at 6am on a weekend.  The tourists are nowhere near awake, the corporation folk don’t have to commute and stores are just starting to open up.  It’s the only time you’ll be able to walk in the middle of a popular street without fear of getting hit by a car.  And at that moment, when you’re sitting on a patio of a coffeeshop with your half-read Cory Doctorow book, a cup of something strongly caffienated, looking at the asleep fruit vendor and smelling the brilliant smells coming from the bakeries…it hits you and you realize just what an amazing fucking city this is.

Brooklyn is a whole other ball game.  Gershwin has no place in my (now recent) memories of that place.  Rather it takes me back to MTV at its prime.  I think of background beats, train cars moving, people shouting…where Manhattan is an intimidating structure, Brooklyn is a living being.  It has less of the professional edge of Manhattan but a HELL of a lot more grit.  All the beautiful graffiti that got kicked out of the island just moved there and creative graffiti artists, I feel, provide something that gives character to a city.  There’s a more relaxed bustle to Brooklyn and you don’t feel too bad about stopping to take in your surroundings.  The bars aren’t all filled with screaming people, cars aren’t screeching down the roads at top speed and the aboveground transit system is a thing of beauty.

This time around I’ve found that New York is a city where you go for the big, wonderful surface of it, but stay because of all the little things you notice while in it.  It’s like you’ve made a personal connection with the sentient being of the city and it’s opened up to you by showing you an out of the way cafe, a book store that has everything or a bar that has your favorite drinks.

And you know…I say this a lot about cities I go to. Berlin, Montreal…but after this, my fourth trip to New York, I really think I’m going to end up living there at some point.

 

March 15, 2010

Quack Quack

Posted by Robin under Personal, photography
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Thursday the 11th marked one year since my brother Sean’s death. On the day, the family (my parents and I) went to our local pub to commemorate the time with a couple of drinks and a couple of stories.

Today we decided to go to the Scarborough Bluffs, a spot we took my brother often to feed the ducks. he would always laugh at the sounds the ducks, geese and the bastard seagulls would make. There we spent a loaf of bread and some time just thinking about him. I managed to bring my camera and get a couple of shots of some of the wildlife that came to us. Thankfully they were willing to pose for a piece of bread. If only human models were like that.

Hope you’re doing well wherever you are, Sean. I miss you.

 

November 10, 2009

Playing Catch Up

Posted by Robin under Film Work, Media, People I Know, Personal, photography, Work | Tags: , , , , , |
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Wow, it’s been an exhausting couple of weeks.

For the past little while I’ve been working on filming and editing two skits for the special features of comedian Trevor Boris‘ DVD of his stand up show in Vancouver.  It was very exciting to work in a totally different way than I’m used to and I think in the end we made some pretty damn good videos.  The one I’m really fond of is a kind of Office-style mockumentary of a day in the life of Trevor and his work on MuchMusic Video On Trial.  While editing it I was found myself laughing out loud and thus getting some stern glares from the other editors working on their stuff.  I should say right now, huge mega-thanks to Henry Less Productions, my former employers, who were all too willing to let me use one of their editing suites and thus saving me a panic attack.  It was good to see everyone, if only for a brief time (things were pretty damn busy there).  I just transferred it all on to a tape and aside from shipping off the drive and dropping off the camera, I’m done!

So my next job for this week is country musician Diane Chase.  I filmed her CD Launch party early last month and have now been given the OK to go and edit it for possible air on CMT, which will be fun.  I’m also going to look around for my nikon’s charger and start taking some more photos.  Things have just been ridiculous with keeping up with that.

I’ve been asked to speak at a panel on “getting noticed” at some emerging country music artist meeting…thing later on in the month talking about social media.  I’m going to look in to it a bit more, but I think I’m going to do it.  While I’m waiting for that, I’ve decided that I’m going to write a 2-3 page paper on musicians and getting noticed.  Working title is SOCIAL MEDIA: UR DOING IT WRONG.  Of course, when I’m done it will be posted on here for all to see.  And I’ve also been pointed to Kirsty Hall’s blog which is proving to be a DAMN interesting read on the subject.

Also, comic writer Kevin Glover gave me a sample script of his upcoming comic with Amanda Hayes titled The Invisible Skein.  I haven’t finished reading it yet and I can’t give anything away, but I will say this now:  This is reading so damn good and I look forward to it’s release on December 14th.  Anyways, you’ll read more about it on here I’m sure.

And in a more personal kind of note, my 25th birthday is approaching on the 4th of December.  It’s kind of weird… I FEEL like I should be a grown up, but when asked if I wanted anything for my birthday the response was (almost immediately) a Nintendo DS.  There was a little cardigan-wearing grown up in my head saying “NO.  YOU MUST ASK FOR ANY SEASONS OF LAW AND ORDER.  YOU’RE A GROWNUP NOW”.  But still, a quarter of a century…christ.  (And alright you old codgers, feel free to comment with mockery)

Anyways, I should probably eat something before I head out.  My stomach is screaming like some kind of horrible creature that people normally put in basements and feed door to door salesmen to…

 

November 5, 2009

Photo Appearence! – Weaponizer

Posted by Robin under People I Know, Personal, photography
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One of my photos is on the front page of Weaponizer!  Boy howdy!

 

 

October 31, 2009

Another Print For Sale!

Posted by Robin under Personal, photography
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Selling one more tonight before I start making a page for this on Sunday.  Gordon Lightfoot!  Brilliant little picture!  I’ll be selling a 4×6 and an 8×10 photo for $15.00CAD and $20.00CAD respectively.  All prices include shipping.  Don’t worry about the “Donate” button.  Just click on it to buy!


Gordon Lightfoot 4×6 Print
$15.00 Canadian

Gordon Lightfoot 8×10 Print
$20.00 Canadian

 

October 30, 2009

Print For Sale!

Posted by Robin under Personal, photography
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Hot diggity-damn!  Photography print!  For sale!  FOR CHEAP SALE!

I’m still getting used to this paypal thing and messing around with some stuff as well as taking MORE photos, but right now mommy needs some cash and hopefully YOU need something to put up on your wall.  So as a test, here’s one photo that’s up for sale.

Now…the button is a “donate” button, but really the price is set up at $5 Canadian which includes shipping (told you I’m still getting used to this).  I’ll be releasing other photos for sale later on, but I just wanted to see if this would work…

Moonlit Fire:

4×6 print:  $5.00 CAD

 

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