Three amazing Birthday prezzies from three amazing folks! The first being a BRILLIANT drawing by the equally brilliant Paul Sizer (BUY HIS BOOK!) of me inspired by this photo:
Also slightly inspired by the photo, the incredibly talented Will Ellwood wrote a bit of Flash Fiction in which I’m interviewed by Richard Nixon’s head. Here ‘s “Suave Robin’s Birthday Surprise”
Suave Robin’s Birthday Surprise
A jar with Richard Nixon’s head floating in it was wheeled onto a stage, dressed as the Oval Office, by a male nurse to the applause of hundreds of audience members. The cameras around the stage captured every moment for broadcast around the universe. The nurse lifted the jar from its trolley and placed it on a heavy wooden desk. After sticking a contact microphone to Richard Nixon’s home the nurse left with the trolley. “Good evening,” Richard Nixon said, when the producer had managed to coax the audience into silence.
“Welcome to Richard Nixon Interviews. The atemporal chat show where I, the mind of Richard Nixon mixed with the personality of a light entertainment presenter and stored in a robotic head, talk to ghosts from past, present and future.
“Tonight we have only one guest and one band. Our guest tonight is the very wonderful and suave Robin LeBlanc.”
A ray of white light projected from the rafters focused on the sofa next to Richard Nixon’s desk. A shadow formed of a figure wearing a worn old beret and holding a burning cigarette. The light faded and Robin sat on the sofa half dressed and her long curly hair uncombed. She looked around at her situation and shrugged, mostly accepting it.
Richard Nixon blushed when he looked up. Robin’s black shirt was half unbuttoned. “Where the hell is my beer?” she shouted.
A light materialised and a pint glass with beer in it appeared next to the sofa on the floor. “Welcome to the show,” Richard Nixon said. “Sorry we forgot the beer.”
“Not a problem Dick. It’s good to be here,” Robin said. She put her cigarette out in a jade ashtray that balanced on the sofa’s armrest.
“I want to start by wishing you happy birthday.”
“Now I want to ask you about the beer.”
“What about it”? Robin asked.
“Well, I’ve been told that you brew your own.”
“I do. The brew I’ve got here I made myself,” Robin said.
“Could you describe it for me?”
Robin picked the pint glass up, smiled and then drank the pale brown liquid. “This is a new recipe that I’ve been experimenting with that I call ‘A Photographer’s Flash of Insight’ and it is in the style of a classic English bitter. Would you like to try some?”
In his tank and without a neck to articulate his head Richard Nixon did his best to nod by bobbing up and down in the suspension liquid which supported his head. “Please.”
She rose from her seat and stood over a smiling Richard Nixon and carefully tipped a small measure of beer into his tank. The liquid sank into the open mouth of Richard Nixon. His eyes rolled back in their carbon fibre sockets. “Oh that’s the best beer I’ve had in a thousand years,” Richard Nixon said when he regained his senses. “Damn the questions. Bring on the musical act. Just for you Robin we’ve got Leonard Nimoy, William Shatner and Patrick Stewart with the Red Shirt Barbershop Choir to perform Happy Birthday just for you.”
Have to say, I personally love the ending. *cough*
And finally, a bit of amazing pixel art from Brittney Wagner of a Robin Cabinet of Awesome Stuff!