Monthly Archives: February 2011

The Soviet Condom Story

by in People I Know, Personal | Permalink

Suddenly remembered a story from when I was working as an Office PA at Associated Producers Ltd. a company whose owner, Simcha Jacobovici made a documentary on the “James, Brother of Jesus” bones and later, with James Cameron, discovered what was believed to be the bones of Jesus himself.

This is about one of the executive producers there, a man named Felix.  He was a complete bastard and is the first person that comes to mind when I hear the words “sneaky fucking Russian”.  One day he called me in to his office and showed me the decorations that he put on his wall.  Lots of pictures from his former life in the Soviet Union and at the center of it…a soviet-issued condom, still in golden-brown wrapper, nailed to the wall.  He pointed to it, swelling with pride.  ”You see,” he said. “Soviet condoms were the best in the world.  Forget this durex shit.  Soviet condoms could stop a fucking atom.”  A little lower, was a 1 chervonets bill, with Lenin’s face on it.  He pointed to that.  ”And I put it by Lenin so HE KNOWS…so he knows that his proud nation created the best condoms known to man.”

Felix later went on to involve me in something that involved the alleged bones of The Virgin Mary.  But that’s a story for another time (get me drunk at a party.  I’ll tell it).

It was one of the worst jobs I’ve had, but damn it, it gave me a book full of stories.

Sick As A Dog

by in photography, Work | Permalink

What started out as a sore throat seems to have turned in to the Hungarian Racka Flu (well, okay, it’s just the flu.  But I can be dramatic.  I’m SICK).  Now…I’m one of those people who hates taking sick days.  Staying in bed when I feel like walking around and doing stuff is something that brings out the angry Viking in me.  It makes me feel weak and helpless, something that I can’t afford to be in most situations including an attack on my village.  So I VERY rarely ever take sick days.

So I’m taking a fucking sick day.

But while I’m here with some time covered in my blanket with RED playing in the background, I can tell you what’s been going on in the past two weeks or so.

What started out as a facebook invite from fellow photo vixen Lex Machina to a Toronto steampunk fundraiser turned in to the “Difference Engineers” getting in touch with me about some photos I took of the Toronto Steampunk Society last year and them wanting to print one of them up for an upcoming Steampunk exhibit at the Ontario Science Centre starting up March 4th.  There’s an opening event, but I’m not sure when it is yet.  Will keep you posted when a flier or something turns up.  But I’m pretty excited about it.  The Ontario Science Centre was one of my absolute favorite places to go to as a child and as corny as it sounds, the thought that kids going on school trips there will see one of my photos just…makes me feel pretty damn good.

For those asking (with threats thrown in) about updates on REMNANTS, don’t worry.  Neil is on it.  But keep sending me dead things.  I hang them up outside my house as a warning for my neighbours to leave me alone.  It works.

There’s a new addition to my family.  Yesterday, after paying off most of my computer at Futureshop, I decided to get in to debt again and purchase a brand new Nikon D90 body on one of those “don’t pay for a year” plans.    Have messed around with it only a little bit, but it’s a BIG step up from my Nikon D50.  Loving the quality and customization.  Plus wirelessly controlling my external flash?  Brilliant.

So…I think that’s it.  There’s more, but I can’t talk about it right now.  But THINGS, they are going on.  Including two trips to NYC and MAYBE a trip to the UK.

But for now I have a strong desire for soup.